Son Turning 18

By April 1, 2009Family

This week on  Works For Me Wednesday, hosted by We Are THAT Family, has switched things up a bit.

We are telling our readers one of our dilemmas and letting them comment on what they think we should do.

So here’s my dilemma…

My oldest son will be turning 18 next Monday. Tonight when I picked him up he asked if next Tuesday he could go with a friend to a hotel for a Lan Party, (It’s a party for video gamers), spend the night and then go with his girlfriend the next day for a birthday celebration.

He has never done anything to make me not trust him. He doesn’t smoke or drink or do drugs.

My question to you…How far do I let the apron strings go? He is turning 18, and I have to let him venture out soon. But is the whole hotel thing a bit much?

Thanks for your input!

Join the discussion 4 Comments

  • mom2fur says:

    Sounds to me like you’ve raised a great kid! My youngest is 18, too. (He’ll be 19 in June.) And he still has a curfew. It’s midnight unless we talk ahead and plan. He can always call and ask for more time. We also keep in touch via cell phone. This is so much better than when my daughter (now 24) was a teenager and I had no way of keeping up with her. His two older brotehrs have never been ones to stay out late, so I didn’t worry as much about them.
    One rule we have is that if Nick goes someplace other than where he told us he’d be, he has to call and tell us. He does so 90% of the time. This isn’t just us being parents, it’s him being considerate.
    Frankly, if the message of behaving himself hasn’t gotten to your son by age 18, it isn’t going to make much of a difference how tight those apron strings are. I’d keep them attached, but loosely. I do remind my son that he is a legal adult, and any trouble he gets into is his own deal. I kid him that there’s a cellmate named Bubba waiting for him at the local jail in case he gets any funny ideas to act up. (He wants to know why cellmates are always named “Bubba.”) Fortunately, so far he’s given us no trouble at all. It isn’t easy to start letting them go, but once you do, you just take a deep breath, say a prayer (if that is your thing) and just let life happen.
    Best of luck, and I hope he enjoys his party!

  • MB says:

    I don’t have an 18 year old either, but if he’s not given you any reason not to trust him then that is what you should do, continue to trust him. Plus, if he’s going away to college in the Fall, you might as well start practicing now for him being on his own. 🙂 Good luck! I dread that day, myself!

  • Sara says:

    I don’t have an 18 year old, but it wasn’t that long ago that I was 18. Here’s what I think…(as an overprotective mom of 2 little girls!)

    I think a LAN party is fine. (Why it has to be at a hotel is beyond me!) Spending the night, that’s good too. (I am assuming in the last 18 years he has attended a sleepover before!) I think I would let him go, since he’s given you no reason to not trust him, but I would ask him to call you randomly, or you call him, just to check in. (Not a lot, just a couple of times.) And maybe ask him to stop home before heading to his girlfriend’s party. That way you see him, and I know that my dad always felt better if he saw me in between activities!

  • wanda says:

    I have an 18 year old son too. He has never given us reason to worry either. He’s solid in his convictions and would not drink or smoke. He is also a big online gamer kid too.
    The party at the hotel…..?
    Hmmm doesn’t sound to awful. If you trust him…and have confidence in him….give it a shot.
    He’s an adult now…so explain the consequences if something does happen. It’s not the principal….it is the police now.

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